Glenn Gladfelder: The Unpublishable Writer

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  • What H&R Block Doesn’t Understand About Tax Returns

    “When H&R Block e-files a return, it has no idea whether the return is as perfect as a gemstone or a godawful mess.”

  • Dateline: Houston–Contents

  • Hacking Houston–The Job

    “Budgets were tight for many of my passengers, with no room to spare; I’d see them in the rearview mirror, clutching their coin purse or their wallet, eyes alternating anxiously between the meter and the road.”

  • Hacking Houston–The Passengers (I)

    “Suddenly, nervous and agitated, he indicated we should be in the far right lane, exiting the freeway now, at Main Street. There was no way I could get over there, so I kept going straight. He wailed in despair.”

  • Hacking Houston–The Passengers (II)

    On the sidewalk I saw someone waving, a little unsteadily. Not a good sign. She approached my car and tapped on the glass. I opened my window to a slight black woman, young but weathered, and mildly drunk. “You free, mister?”

  • vs.–Contents

  • Fly on a Windowpane

    “So what if you’re trying really hard to do the job right—you think the world gives a damn? Stop whining, you red-faced little twerp! This is what failure feels like. Get used to it.”

  • Seven to Seventeen

    “For the last hour of the school day, I sat in that warm, noxious stew. I tried to ignore the moist jeans, the worsening odor, the looks from other kids.”

  • The Myth of a Loving God

    “Christian theology is incompatible with the facts of the world: a loving, all-powerful God simply would not permit the tragic losses and terrible suffering that happen every day on an inconceivable scale.”

  • Morality and Distance, Part I

    “Put a child’s life and health on one side of the scale, and our yearning for flat-screen pleasures on the other–then decide, which matters more?”

  • Morality and Distance, Part II

    “The elaborate edifice of pleasures and conveniences that we have become accustomed to rests on the backs of the exploited and abused. Their world is grim so ours can be bright.”

  • Heliocentrism Killed Christianity

    “The idea of God watching over each human being with boundless love is a surviving relic of the earth-centered universe that was debunked and discarded long ago. Christianity is the fossilized remains of a dead cosmology.”

  • A Human Sampler–Contents

  • A Human Sampler–Introduction

    “Through this anthology of portraits, I have tried to convey the incredible variety of people who are lumped together under the umbrella of intellectually disabled.”

  • Chuck College

    I went into the restroom, leading Chuck behind me, and in one of the stalls I found a Chuck College lunch sack floating in an unflushed bowl. When I pointed at it, Chuck said loudly, “Oh, no!”

  • Smoking Alone

    “Several times Ben was caught stealing, and because the kids who talked him into it had threatened him, he wouldn’t say who they were. He also had a temper, and the tantrums he threw in town frightened some of the neighbors.”

  • Dancing Fingers

    “At school Lisa wouldn’t participate in group activities. When children came with their mothers to her house, she’d set her dolls out for them to play with, then go off by herself.”

  • Last

    “Amy’s voice was hoarse and her speech had a mournful tone, as if to say, all pleasures are fleeting–only weariness and persecution endure.”

  • I Deep Breath

    Wally, a client who loved to provoke him, would sometimes grin and say, “Boulder, Charles? Charles going back to Boulder?” Charles would bite his hand, then grab a paper towel and write, “Mad, Mad—NO MORE BOULDER.”

  • Oh Fuck! I’m Mad! Oh Fuck!

    Whenever a dairy truck drove up to the campground store, Barry would shout, “Whooooooaaaa! Milk!” And whenever an elderly lady came out of a trailer, he’d chant, “Gramma, gramma, gramma….”

  • Muh-Muh-Muh-Muh–Meeeeee!

    “One day when the clients were outside waiting for the buses, I found Leroy around the side of the building, pulling his zipper down. In front of him stood dull, compliant Ruthie, her pants dropped to her ankles.”

  • Your Mouth!

    Grant extended his arm and held it rigid, pointing his fist at Craig. “Your mouth!” he shouted. He slapped his other hand over his face, and a few moments later his voice exploded: “Shut up!! Your mouth!!”

  • A Mind in Disarray

    Afterwards, sitting in a chair, Dave would be breathing hard, his body would be shaking, and his face would be drenched with tears. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he’d sob, and he’d want to hold hands with the people he had just attacked.

  • Laughter

    Margo put her thumb on her nose, waved her curled fingers at me, and giggled. “Goo-bye!” she said, and I laughed too. She planted laughter in others wherever she went.

  • Lethargy

    “For Holly, lethargy was not a passing mood, it was a chronic condition. She dragged through the hours, dragged through the days. Life was not a gift she had been given; it was a sentence she had to serve.”

  • Going to the Bathroom

    “One moment Gus would be working in his wheelchair, the next moment his arms would become rigid, his legs would kick out, his eyes would roll up into his head, and his body would be seized with rhythmic convulsions.”

© 2018-2020 Glenn Gladfelder. All rights reserved.